That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
