i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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