then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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