How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she looked like the before picture.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
