Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
