Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Me too!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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