we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize