she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize