I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
