it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
