Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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