brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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