i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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