Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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