i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
