i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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