Its about making memories worth repressing
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
