what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
