he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
nutella sex= disaster
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
