I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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