Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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