As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
