i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
