Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
