I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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