Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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