I just made out with a guy for $7.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
