Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings