the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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