i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
