if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
