dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
