Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
