remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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