Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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