Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
