So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
