everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
