How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
