She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
