we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
