I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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