ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
