I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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