Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
