Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
