omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
