I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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