its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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