It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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