all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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