I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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