Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
