My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize