You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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