Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
