my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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