Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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