we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
