How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
