dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
