she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
