he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
