i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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