I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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