So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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