You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize