I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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